thoughts of a broken heart

silly little sarah always believed in fairytale love.
where everything was perfect and they would live happily ever after.
but now.. things have changed quite a bit.
i used to believe that as long as 2 people were truly in love,
nothing would be able to stop them from being together.
but i was wrong.
everything was different.
one mistake and your dream will stay a dream.
living in denial, i wait and see.
until finally, the answer struck.
it is impossible.
you say, i would find the best one day.
guess what? you are the best.
i should just settle for anyone.
besides, no one wants me anymore.
fairytale love oh fairytale love.
why make me feel this way?
why do things always have to end the hurtful way?
from one to another to another.
when will this ever end?
am i that unwanted? unworthy?
haii.. my ambition now..
is to start up and orphanage
take in all the little children without parents
and look after them, love them, protect them.
for i know how it feels.
how it feels to be unloved, unprotected. uncared for.
i know.. iloveyou. but what can i do?
nothing.

walking through that door

one more step i take.
i walk away.
memories run through my mind like a film without sound
we had such a long history.
all the ups and all the downs
we faced them together.
i dreamt that we were meant to be.
but dreams don't always come true.
when i finally realised i could give up anything for you
it was too late.
you said things would never be the same again.
i made a mistake
one i will never forget.
one that made me lose the one i love so dearly.
i told you i can't give that up for you.
but now i realised i can.
is it too late? yes it is.
there will never be an "us" ever again.
maybe it's just fate.
the day i knew it ended.
the only thing i had left for a memory disappear
to be gone forever.
fate is what it was.
unable to pick myself up.
you'll never see me cry again.
for it makes you sad.
it's because iloveyou
you will never see the side of me that brings such pain.
a happy smile is all you'll see.
until the day the feelings fade.
until the day you say "i love someone else"

mind's in a whirlwind

what else can i do now?
just to hide behind a happy facade.
even though inside my heart is torn into little pieces
life still goes on..
i always believed in spreading joy
not spreading sadness throughout.
it's not that i have become who you think i have become
it's just that i need to change to adapt to the environment.
so many things to do, so much to say.
everything i ever wanted to say is now worth nothing.

what am i to do?
it's now in my brain.
netball-choir-netball-choir-netball-choir
which one?
this friday i got choir camp..
and IT'S COMPULSORY.
you know how disgusting that is?
i feel like going for badminton trials..
'cos netball's really tough..
i mean 5km under 25 mins is like guys' timing lahh..
we are girls for crying out loud!!
sighh.. maybe im just fated to stick to performing arts!!
to think i wanted to do some sports!
oh wells.. everything has been planned by my HeavenlyDaddy. i just have to wait and see where he thinks is best for me! (:

yesterdayy

yesterday was a pretty fun day!!
early morning 10am, met winston to go to morgan's house there to meet morgan and teckmeng
to watch them play basketball..
it was quite comical since they had a friendly match with this bunch of guys..
and they were like how much taller than the bunch of guys..
hahaha.. so yeahh.. how it a fair match, i dunno.. (:
yeahh.. after that went for lunch with the three guys!!
i was supposed to go out with 05A02 yesterday but even at 2 plus they were still waiting for people!!
oh mann.. haha.. so i decided to start eating first.. then go to the house after that.
but i made someone sad yesterday.. SORRY!!
yeahh.. went to the house and i sat through the core meeting
and it was a lot better than i expected it to be..
and i can see morgan forcing his eyes open and winston falling asleep
to think i was the most alert one among the three of us!!
haha.. then went for dinner.. and ate a fish burger..
and went back to the house for cell.. i enjoyed cell a lot..
and HALLELUJAH! im gonna start bible study next week!
"getting started" it's about time i start. haha.. yeahh..
i went home and was messaging people still sorta fell asleep.
to those i feel asleep while message : IM VERY SORRY!

who's that girl?

today ida came to PJC!! it's like so exciting lahh..
haha.. she was like an official crasher!! every teacher knows she's there when she's not supposed to..
so she's known as an official crasher (:
haha.. we had math c together and it was a long time since i last met her..
so it was kinda fun sitting next to her..
haha yeahh.. i almost fell asleep during chinese..
because the wind was blowing at my face.. into my eyes.. and hai..
and so we asked miss leong (human geog teacher) to do something unconventional..
so we had groups and guess what!! we get into groups of 4-5 and then we get to go to changi international airport to do a survey!! how fun is that?
haha.. and it's quite funny why each group must have at least one guy
the guys will approach the ladies and the girls will approach the men..
and when the men try to get fresh, the guys are there for protection!
haha.. and we were saying that kah wee would be the first to run if anything happens and later on say "oh you are so pathetic!!"
hahaha.. yeahh.. after that had volleyball trial.. at least ade got sent to the probation group first..
i was sent to loserland immediately!! haha.. oh wells.. i didn't intend to join it anyway.. it was for fun so no hard feelings!!
and guess what.. i got into choir!! can you believe that or not?
haha.. me? choir? hahahahaha.. yeahh.. but i gotta get used to singing as a alto.. because everytime i sing in a group im sorta like a soprano! haha.. altos are good too.. but alto 2?
im gonna start sounding like a man..
tomorrow got basketball trials and netball next week! (:
haha.. ade and i took a bus home..
and i was being stupid and told her..
for the first time we don't have to run for the bus.. the bus has to run for us!
that was due to a 67 coming when we were already at the bus stop =P
yes i know im stupid..
i have to do econs homework and study for a geog test! (: wish me luckk!

trials!!!

todayy was the last day that we get to leave school early...
haha.. i went for choir auditions.. (: and i got a B- grade.. not bad lahh..
all those who get B+ and above will get into the school choir..
those with between a B- and B+ will be on the "to be confirmed list"
and i think anything lower than that.. heh.. yeahh..
so at least i know that im not so much of a loser as to get rejected on the spot..
i didn't want to go for auditions actually but i kept feeling something telling me to go..
so go!! (:
after which ade and i went to try out for netball!!
it's so fun!! haha.. i miss netball but i don't miss the pain that comes with it..
now my arms are shaking and my foot is numb.. haii..
haha.. but it was fun lahh.. if they accept me, i'd join the team!!
yeahh.. so that was about all i did today..
next week onwards.. we'll be ending at the earliest of 1.30pm and the lastest of 5pm..
but all these timings do not include cca and what not..
i still have to go for trials next next week. wish me luck.
i hope i do not end up ccaless 'cos i dun wanna be in chinese orchestra! (:
haha.. yeahh.. im tired.. but i have family night tonight. so i dunno what im gonna eat but im really hungry i hope it's good food.. and a good movie!! (:

funny dayy

hahhaa. today was such a funny day!!
i love today. abosolutely!!
today geog was really interesting 'cos they were talking about the tsunamis and all..
but we got homework already!! :(
sighh.. some research on the tsunami disaster and stuff..
then class elections.. very funny..
can sabo everyone into doing anything in class..
i got sabo-ed into being pe rep.. and the teacher was saying my arms so skinny
then stupid clement had to say "ya, later play rugby get kicked away" IDIOT!
then we had literature!! super funnyy..
and i realised that so many of our teachers were from hwa chong!!
haha.. and that we have a teacher who graduated from oxford?
are they clever or wad? sighh..
haha.. then there's this teacher called mr bary woolhead..
he's super cute lahh (not the good looking cute but the boyboy cute)
haha.. he looks like some child wants to eat ice-cream
and mommie doestn' wanna give him ice-cream so he just gives this look lahh
super cute!! haha.. then after that ade and i went back to mgs!!
and mr ling was super duber funny lahh..
say that our pjc badge looks very al cheapo!!
'cos it's made of plastic!! haha.. and made us do some singapore math olympia primary school paper and we can't do it!! stupid math..
and we went to talk to mr tay.. and everyone lahh.. and we forgot our main person..
LAOSHI!! looks like we have to make another trip down there.
and there was all the acjc people there lahh..
all of them went backk and they didnt' know wad jc we were from..
some XYZ jc or something.. they thought it was MI just cos they're from raffles!!
felt like killing them.. haha.. went home.. and im here!
feel really tired.. emotionally and physically.
i dunno what im feeling now lahh.. mixed feelings i guess.
missing someone too much isn't good.
it's amazing how people can pretend nothing happened.

school badge day!!

yippee!! today i finally got my school badge!!
haha.. my pjc school badge (: so happy.. i finally have two schools!!
haha.. yeahh. that's about the only fun thing..
today we started on our lectures..
started with econs.. it was super noisy.. it was horrible. couldn't hear a thing.
then it was maths c.. and i realised how important a math is.. and i definitely appreciate mr ling a lot more now.. haha
after lunch was geog.. and it was super interesting.. even ade enjoyed it!! so many things that i never knew. i found out today! (:
and after that was lit.. that was the funniest lecture i ever been through.. it was hilarious..
this boy asked why acjc shined in their lit but pjc can't..
so the teacher kept picking on him lahh.. haha.. so embarrassing for him..
and the funniest was how he started the lecture..
the first slide was "10 good reasons why you should NOT take literature"
how encouraging.. haha.. and it was embarrassing lahh.. i suddenly had a huge outburst of HUH?
do you believe that our lit teacher used to teach in hwa chong?
so amazing right? haha..
yup.. so after that, ade and i went to lot one..
not knowing that chervin was following us around lahh..
so it's kinda weird 'cos we really didn't know he was coming..
and even if he came, i wouldn't say anything.. but after picking a fight with me.. arghhhh.. it's too much to bear..
yeahh.. walked back home in the rain 'cos my baby said i couldnt' walk by the park 'cos it's dangerous.. so take a longer walk in the rain. was a little wet when i got home..
yup.. so now. im tired.. and im gonna sleep.. take care!!
PS: i got my school badge!!!! (:

facing my reality-

imagine you love someone so much!!
though you aren't together
he treats you like his girlfriend
and you treat him like your boyfriend.
one day, he tells you that he needs time to adjust to living without you.
*piang* your heart shatters. painful right?
yup!! i guess ive been living in denial far too long
always thinking that the people i love should love me too.
but they don't. they don't have to.
i feel my heart being crumpled and squished.
haha. stupid little girl.
as always, i try to lie to myself.
but i guess it's alright.. i'll now be single.
try to keep myself as busy as possible to forget the one i love.

baby>> heya!! thanks for all the love you've showered me with for so long. you'll always be someone special to me. thanks for being so honest with me.. as least now i know how you feel. i had so much things to say to you.. hoping that you'd just give me a little chance to say it.. but you've said it, your stand is clear. i'll live. worry not, i won't try to get run over by the car or something on purpose. though i can no longer look into your eyes to tell you how i feel, deep down inside i really wished i could hold you just once last time. i wish you find your happiness soon. find the right girl for you. as long as you're happy, i'll be smiling on the inside for you even if a frown is all i have on the outside. goodbye my baby.. once my baby, always my baby. forget me soon ya? move on.. one last time, i love you!!

the end of orientation

i was too tired last night to start updating
so i just left a song there!! (:
yup.. currently now im searching for a new blog template!!
yeahh.. orientation was really fun.
it literally rocks (it was a pun) - you'd know if you were there at orientation (:
haha.. yeahh. well at least i thought it did..
different people have different mindsets about things so they feel differently about stuff..
yesterday we went out of school and walked a lot..
like all the way to choa chu kang park and around there to lot one to ten mile junction and yadala..
haha.. had a lot of cheers and all
and for once.. ade and i got to dance together for mass dance..
so funny.. officially we can dance both parts, the boy's part and the girl's part.. are we talented or wad?
haha.. that was an ego statement..
overall PJC ORIENTATION WAS FUNNNNN!!!
i shan't go into the deep details of wad we did because reading it might bore you to tears..
you have to be there to experience it yourself!! (:

ice-kachang

you are my ice kachang
in this tropical heat
you are my favourite desert (ooh la la)
so inviting so sweet (sayang eh)
would you like to bo bo cha cha
come along and dance with
for you are my love
my tutty fruity
somone i like to eat!!

*this was an orientation song!!

bonding-split

im so tired today mann..
i just came back from school and reached home at 6 plus..
yeahh.. so today was alright i guess..
haha.. in the morning we had a lot of fun during interaction time..
it's really fun to play all those games we used to play in primary school in jc..
and make people do stupid forfeits.. and what not.
haha.. and our dearest kim crashed and got caught in kristalle's group
so she came and joined my group! (: YAY!
had loads of fun lahh.. haha..
but school tour was downright boring..
and when we went to the gym, there was like no oxygen in there..
i felt like i was going to faint any moment.
the chicken rice in pjc is really nice.
haha.. then after the school tour..
we had mass dance..
at first when i saw the dance, it was such a put off 'cos i hate the song..
what "let's get loud" by j lo?
yeahh.. but overall it was quite fun lahh..
wasn't that bad actually..
they made us pair up with dance partners?
and my dance partner was so funny...
he's been running away from me since day one.. and even escaped when he realised that i was stuck with him.
haha.. then ask stupid questions like "are you ok with me?"
hahahaha.. it was like a mix of modern dance, ballroom dancing, hip hop and er.. singapore workout?
i fell asleep while they were doing the "songs" section..
not only were the songs boring.. i was dead tired.
haha.. so sleep for like 2 mins before my ogl came and asked me to wake up
then i told her i was sleepy and she let me go sleep again..
haha.. we got a t-shirt.. a file.. and a towel..
still no school badge :(
we are gonna get split up from our OGs tomorrow 'cos we will be re-grouped into our classes.
i hope that ade and i will be in the same class. *fingers crossed*
yeahh.. so went to lot one and bought octopus ball.
ask the lady for octopus she gave me ham. idiot.
yup.. im home.. so i think im gonna take a little nap before dinner..
im really that tired.
fair ye well.

first dayy! (:

a new rahrah

we live in a world of forgiveness.
a world of betrayal.
a world of mistakes.
a world of pain.
a world of hurt.
a world of love.
a world of uncertainty.

forgiving someone is easier than forgetting someone.
whatever wrongs the person has done before.
forgive.
everyone deserves a chance to start afresh again.
let the year 2005 be it!
as of 010105, im a changed person.
call it a funny way of learning.
just imagine i have a cup of love,
and i want to give it away to someone.
but no one wants it.. how silly do you feel?
yes, that's how i feel.
but it's alright.. everyone will look stupid at least once in their lives.

i stopped holding grudges.
im gonna give people chances.
and i gonna give them a chance to prove they've changed.
no matter how they wronged me last time,
how they hurt me,
how they mocked you
or make you look like an idiot.
i will give them a chance to love, and to be loved.
do not hate people.
for if you do, you commited murder in your heart.

but one thing about me never changes,
i'll always prefer to hurt myself,
than to anyone around me no matter who they are.
silly i know, but that's the way i am.

sarah low
ex-mgs-pjc
nus fass
facebook

turning 16
mgs gala night 2003
mgs founders 2004
happy make up day
mgs grad night 2004
pjc 1st 3 months
pjc choir
05A02 bbq
05A07 arts outing
05A07 class bbq
everything from everywhere
16th australian international music fest
mgs 118th founder's day
a day with chah
05A07 bbq & tummy's farewell
wee&rah
choir chalet day 1 at sentosa
05A02's second bbq
a day with milene
turning 18
snow city with wee
rach's birthday
pjc prom
05A07 chalet
bali
shanghai
zoo with ade&wee&ryan
genting+cameron pt1
genting+cameron pt2